Is it true a hippo can eat a man in three bites?

My question was met with howls of laughter by the guide and boys rowing the canoes. Obviously they never watched The Man Show…

The night before canoeing with hippos we slept in a tree house. This totally changed my goals in life. Penthouse apartment – pshaw; I need the sway of tree branches as my bedtime lullaby.

The bucket bath was another defining moment. Normally I would’ve been disappointed, but after days of not showering I was ready to splash around. The water was the warmest I’ve had in Ghana, rainwater heated by the sun. Dusk turned to dark before I had filled my bucket but I bathed in the starlight.

Natalie & Berkeley laughed about the possibility of a snake being at their feet and they wouldn’t even know. Jessica came around the corner at that moment shining a flashlight, startling the mouse that was at their feet. It scurried out of the shower, followed by the screaming girls.

The only light in the area was a single solar-powered bulb in the middle of the campsite. Even though the stars & moon illuminate less, the bright, artificial light of a city is less revealing. The stars & moon don’t hide as much. The sharp contrast of light & darkness from artificial light creates a cover for evil intentions.

The only startle here (apart from the mouse) is the occasional bird bursting into flight through the branches above us.

The next morning we went in search of hippos. Yes, hippos are very dangerous, but we were assured it had been a long time since they had attacked a canoe. Since the park was established and hunting prohibited the hippos feel less threatened by humans.

We rowed up to a floating mass of hippos – the guide counted 4 – and waited. And waited. The only action was an occasional underwater sneeze, interrupting my daydreams of building a tree house. The guide rattled chains to wake them up.

Not realizing Natalie’s uneasiness, I blurted my curiosity of their destructive power.
Like the reference to land pirates, my question about hippo attacks was probably poorly timed.

The guide laughed at my question (see title) but explained that hippo only flips the canoe and drowns any perceived threat, rarely tearing into a man and not interested in eating him.

Another long-awaited sneeze from the crowd of hippos and we headed back to camp.